Our Team
Eva Di Giorgio
Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist #144286
View ProfileFor Couples and Individuals
Emotionally Focused Therapy
Emotionally Focused Therapy looks beneath recurring conflict to the feelings and attachment needs driving it, so partners can understand the cycle they get caught in together.
01
The Feelings Beneath the Argument
Couples can find themselves arguing about the same things again and again: chores, money, time, family or screens. Emotionally Focused Therapy, often called EFT, suggests the topic is rarely the whole story. Underneath, partners are often asking quieter questions. Do I matter to you? Can I count on you? Will you be there when I need you?
EFT is grounded in attachment, the deep human need for close, reliable connection. When that connection feels uncertain, people protect themselves in different ways. One partner may push for a response, criticize or pursue. The other may go quiet, defend or pull away. Both reactions make sense, and both can leave each person feeling more alone.
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EFT also pays attention to layers of emotion. On the surface are the feelings partners show most easily, such as frustration, irritation or shutting down. Beneath them there may be hurt, fear of losing the other person, loneliness or shame. Naming those softer feelings, at a pace that feels safe, can change the way partners hear each other.
02
Seeing the Cycle Together
A key idea in EFT is that the cycle is the problem, not either partner. Couples can get caught in a pattern where one person's protective move sets off the other's, around and around, until the argument seems to run itself. In counseling, the therapist helps slow that pattern down so both people can see it clearly and recognize their own part in it without shame.
From there, the work can turn toward new kinds of conversations. Each partner gets support to speak from their own experience and name what they need, and the other gets support to hear it. Over time, partners may practice reaching for each other in ways that feel safer than the old pattern, building moments of connection they can return to.
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EFT can be relevant when conflict keeps repeating, when trust has been hurt, when one partner feels unloved or alone in the relationship, or when a couple feels more like roommates than partners. Partners do not need to agree on what the problem is before starting, and the therapist does not take sides.
03
Individual Work and Eva's Approach
The same ideas can guide individual counseling. Emotion-focused work invites a person to notice, name and make sense of feelings rather than pushing them away, and it looks at how attachment needs and fears show up across relationships, from partners and family to friendships and work.
Eva Di Giorgio is a Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist #144286, supervised by a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. Her work draws on methods from Emotionally Focused Therapy, and she describes her approach as emotion-focused, attachment-based, parts-informed and trauma-informed. Eva works with individuals, couples, families, children and teens, and she aims to offer a safe, gentle, culturally sensitive, sex-positive and LGBTQIA+ friendly environment.
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Across HOPE, Emotionally Focused Therapy is one of the tools our therapists may draw on in couples counseling, and relationships of every shape and style are welcome here. You can ask which formats are available for couples sessions, and a short note about who would attend is enough when you first reach out.
04
Choice Within Individualized Care
No single approach defines counseling at HOPE. Our therapists work collaboratively, learn about the person and concern in front of them, and shape care around individual goals. An approach may be one part of the work, and you can ask questions or discuss another direction at any time.
The therapeutic relationship remains central. Your therapist will explain what they are inviting you to do, listen to your response, and respect your pace. You do not need to arrive knowing which method you want. Therapist profiles can help, or call or email us and we will help you find a good starting point.
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HOPE offers counseling in person in Roseville and by secure video when the client is physically located in California. When you reach out, you can name an interest in a particular approach or simply describe what you would like support with.
Questions
Questions About This Support
Do Both Partners Need to Attend Emotionally Focused Therapy?
For couples work, both partners usually take part, since EFT focuses on the pattern that forms between two people. If your partner is not ready, you can still begin individual counseling and explore your own feelings, needs and reactions within the relationship. When you reach out, simply tell us who would attend, and we can help you find a starting point that fits.
Is EFT Only for Couples in Crisis?
No. Couples may look for support after a painful rupture, such as infidelity or a long stretch of distance, but EFT does not require a crisis. Partners may also want help while things are still fairly steady because a familiar argument keeps returning or they simply want to feel closer. You do not need to wait for a breaking point to look at the feelings beneath your conflict.
What If We Are Not Sure the Relationship Can Be Repaired?
That uncertainty is welcome in counseling. EFT can offer space to understand the cycle you have been caught in and what each of you has been needing, which can bring more clarity about what comes next. Your therapist will not decide the future of your relationship for you. The aim is to help both partners understand what is happening, so that any decision comes from a clearer place.
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